When children become caregivers for their parents, the life cycle goes full circle. The millions of people who fall into the “sandwich generation” confront the difficulty of caring for an elderly parent while juggling a home and raising children. Most elderly parents can do just fine without assistance until something happens. A fall. Dementia. Weak heart. Cancer. Parkinson’s. Diabetes. Problems can arise after surgery. Expense problems. There are several situations in which an adult child must step in to help their parent who finds independent life impractical or unpleasant.
It is becoming increasingly common for adult children to be responsible for the care of a senior parent or other elderly loved one as the senior population grows due to better medical treatments and preventative health measures leading to longer life spans. A multigenerational family can be advantageous if everyone’s needs are satisfied and nobody feels burdened or neglected.
Guidelines for In-Home Care of the Elderly
No matter what motivates an adult child to take on the caretaker role, they should always keep in mind the following criteria.
• A child’s care needs fall into pretty regular patterns that coincide with standard children of their maturation. However, the amount and timing of help required while caring for elderly parents is more difficult to forecast. One incident can have a profound effect on the health of an elderly parent. Caregivers need to remember that their elderly loved one’s cognitive and physical abilities will decline with time. This might occur gradually or suddenly. As a result, it’s important to keep expectations realistic.
• An emotional conversation with an elderly parent is unavoidable because the adult child was raised by this person and is now responsible for their care. When caring for an older person, the caregiver should refrain from acting like a parent and trying to micromanage the senior’s daily activities. Seniors should be given the tools they need to continue living independently and with as much respect as possible by their caregivers.
• While it is reasonable for parents to assume primary care for their children’s care, the same cannot be said for an adult caring for an elderly parent; but many people make this mistake. Siblings should be included if they can contribute to the plot. Geriatric nurse consultations, primary care physician visits, and in-home senior care professionals are all accessible to anyone needing medical assistance.
Providing Independence to Senior Parents
The changing dynamics of who is caring for whom do not erase the rich history that adult children have with their parents. The elderly parent’s dependence on a son or daughter for care may change their daily life, but it does not change the fact that they are still the parent, with all the responsibilities, memories, and emotions they entail.
The finest thing caregivers can do is to view their senior parents’ transitions as natural stages in life. The responsibility of ensuring a safe, happy, and meaningful change to adulthood falls on the shoulders of sons and daughters. Caregiving might be less stressful if regarded as a gift rather than a responsibility.